Like a bloke

Wow. So mindfulness attracted a little bit of attention. Who knew? I posted my last blog and there were comments, followers, likes and everything! Except, of course my dear hubby. ‘I don’t understand this mindfulness business at all,’ he said after I celebrated every new follower individually.

I stopped my jubilation. ‘Well perhaps you don’t need to understand it,’ I said. It earned me a weird look. ‘I think that you already practice it anyway.’ That look again followed by a LOUD eye roll. And so I thought about it. I also tried to explain it as I was working it out but decided that it would be easier to keep my findings to myself (well and you, reader, of course). As my friend recently pointed out, when people ask you if you’ve had your pills today, it’s time to stop pushing the agenda.

We all know that wives love to complain about their husbands and how they never listen. Let’s admit it, it’s what gives us all something in common. However, since scratching the surface of reiki (oh yeah! Multitasking, me!) I have been talking to some of my friends about the amazing ability of men to ‘zone out’. It’s basically the same as not listening, but taken positively.

So most men that we discussed (domesticated, reasonable, responsible husbands) have this skill to come home and relax for a few minutes. They will open a newspaper and completely concentrate on what they are reading. They block out everything and everyone else, to our eternal annoyance. But what are they doing? They are totally in the moment.

While the wives come home and even if they could do the same (let’s assume that nobody is starving or waiting to be picked up from school), they won’t.

I will open my book or a crossword and immediately my brain is overpowered by the voices of all my female relatives through the ages telling me that I SHOULD BE DOING SOMETHING USEFUL! So I either give up what I am doing, in favour of a chore or try to persevere, knowing that I will have to re-read the few pages again because I am thinking of all the work I should be doing. And for what? For a few moments of mindfulness that are now ruined.

So back to why my man doesn’t need to know about it. As well as the reading trick, he can immerse himself in repairing of a tractor, watching telly or farming. I am not saying that farming isn’t stressful (you wouldn’t believe how stressful it can get), but when there’s job to be done in the vineyard, for example, you are surrounded by trees, birds, weather and sky. And that is very conducive to mindfulness.

So this morning I managed to give up multitasking for a moment and focused on the beautiful grapes I was picking instead. Like a bloke.img_1154



  1. This is the best one yet – so true. last Saturday my first day when I wasn’t up and working by 7 for 7 days I sat and watched an amazing film until 10 and it was all I could think about. Did I feel guilty no I felt great. Then when I ran on Sunday all i could think about was running and the views of the Royal parks. Fantastic we need to become more bloke ish!


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